MerryNewKwanza...

Happy holidays to everybody that follows this blog. I'm trying to figure out how to blog from my iPhone, so give me a second, but my resolution is to blog more. Especially since my life and the things I see on the regular are so interesting. But in the meantime...check out some of these pictures.

Well that ain't work soooooo... First fail of the new year (that Ima tell y'all about)
shout out to Greg Square.

Catch a Tiger, let him go...

Aiight, I've waited far too long to blog and to respond to the Tiger Woods "story", so here it is...

I have mixed views and emotions about Eldrick "Tiger" Woods and the recent media attention that his PERSONAL life has gotten recently. We all knew that it would be a matter of time before his "squeaky clean" image would come into question. Last Friday there was an accident in the driveway / next door neighbors house, where Woods was leaving his house (as one of the neighbors saw it) barefoot at 3 am. He banged his LEASED Cadillac Escalade into a fire hydrant and then a tree. Reports say that he was injured and his wife used a 3 iron to get him out of the vehicle. BLAH BLAH SKIPPY (you all know what was reported). He went to the hospital, got treated, was released and returned home, straight into seclusion. There were statements on his website, making references to "transgressions against his family that he was ashamed of". That should have been a wrap, but NOOOOOOO... Now all of the sudden there are women (all Caucasian at that) that are coming out of the woodworks saying that they have had relations and rendezvous with the PGA's shining knight. All this being said his "image" is being questioned and I have a something to say about it...

First of all...We (Black people) are at odds with Tiger. He has described his ethnicity as "Caublasian", a combination of Caucasian, Black, and Asian. Now it is known that his mother is an Asian woman and his father was a Black man...Where does the caucasian come in at? The human ethnic equation always has interested me, especially when people say they are a "quarter" of this, or part that. Is that some new math or something, cause where I come from if you got a drop of "Nigga Blood" in the mix, YOUZE A NIGGA! Strike one bruh.

Secondly, your wife is a white woman. I dont have a problem with it cause thats your thing and I know plenty brothers that rock with Snow Bunnies, regularly, consistantly and exclusively. Though there are plenty sisters that give you the side eye, cause they dont have their hooks in you (and your bank account), many of them give you the other side eye, cause she aint that hot son. The dude that hooked yall up is a herb, cause she was his "nanny", before he got tired of smashin her, and his "transgressions against his family" were revealed. Even though her family is of some government capacity in her native SWEDEN! (dude who really gets down with the Swiss, besides other Sweeds, maybe some ham or turkey) She is the Webster's Dictionary definition of Euro Trash. Then the women that you creeped with were white women. When are you gonna figure it our? Or maybe I'm slow. Its my understanding that the woman from New York, is some sort of "party promoter" (read:HO) and denied having a physical relation with you, then changed her story and said that she did. So she is probably trying to cash in on your status / situation to get her 15 minutes of limelight. Steeeeerike twooooooooooooo

The PGA has been waiting for you to slip up. You really are the anti golfer, even though you have brought a resurgence and exposure to the game of golf, you aint nothin but the brunt of plenty jokes. What do you call 300 white guys chasing 1 black guy? The PGA tour... (insert canned laughter here). Conan O'Brian, George Lopez, Jay Leno, and even the poster child for cheaters David Letterman all have cracked on you this past week and with your wife and her mother rushing to the hospital followed by Harvey Levin and the TMZ people, the Woods' have given them more ammunition to hit you with more jokes for the next couple weeks til something else pops up. Even D-list syndicated radio morning show host Big Boy from Big Boy's Neighborhood had a parody on you using the Jay Z song Empire State of Mind, called Dork State of Mind, They even used a sampling of one of those voice mails (now how those get released?) Not to mention the thingy during the Jacksonville Jags game where there was a blonde woman chasing a tiger with a golf club...and your popularity amongst Americans is down to 39%...And thats strike three kid, Sit on it Potsie

All your major sponsers (Nike, Gatorade *who pulled your drink*, AT&T, Gillette, and EA Sports) are standing behind you, so far they havent completely backed out on you, cause you make THEM money at one point or another. Even though none of your ads have run on primetime television since November 29th. ESPN analyst and former athlete / coach Herm Edwards said it doesnt even matter if you lose your endorsements, you dont need any extra money, cause youre the GREATEST GOLFER OF ALL TIME. This from a cat that has been fired twice for sure and has never won a major ANYTHING.

Im gonna give you a plausible solution that can either get you off the hook or deeper in the fire, depending on how you pull it off... Being that you are a BILLIONAIRE, write a check dude... Start introducing yourself to African American women, they NEVER turn down large amounts of money... maybe a combination of the two. If you continue to deal with white women, you may want to write a check first and get some kinda paperwork stating that they gotta keep their mouths shut. Additionally instead of "hiding" behind your computer in your khakis, get you a pair of Jordans, some jeans, a white tee shirt and be the nigga they callin you. Staying inside only makes things worse. Get it off your chest, speak on it... call the homie Terrell Owens and get explicit instructions on how to tell it like it is.