Catch a Tiger, let him go...

Aiight, I've waited far too long to blog and to respond to the Tiger Woods "story", so here it is...

I have mixed views and emotions about Eldrick "Tiger" Woods and the recent media attention that his PERSONAL life has gotten recently. We all knew that it would be a matter of time before his "squeaky clean" image would come into question. Last Friday there was an accident in the driveway / next door neighbors house, where Woods was leaving his house (as one of the neighbors saw it) barefoot at 3 am. He banged his LEASED Cadillac Escalade into a fire hydrant and then a tree. Reports say that he was injured and his wife used a 3 iron to get him out of the vehicle. BLAH BLAH SKIPPY (you all know what was reported). He went to the hospital, got treated, was released and returned home, straight into seclusion. There were statements on his website, making references to "transgressions against his family that he was ashamed of". That should have been a wrap, but NOOOOOOO... Now all of the sudden there are women (all Caucasian at that) that are coming out of the woodworks saying that they have had relations and rendezvous with the PGA's shining knight. All this being said his "image" is being questioned and I have a something to say about it...

First of all...We (Black people) are at odds with Tiger. He has described his ethnicity as "Caublasian", a combination of Caucasian, Black, and Asian. Now it is known that his mother is an Asian woman and his father was a Black man...Where does the caucasian come in at? The human ethnic equation always has interested me, especially when people say they are a "quarter" of this, or part that. Is that some new math or something, cause where I come from if you got a drop of "Nigga Blood" in the mix, YOUZE A NIGGA! Strike one bruh.

Secondly, your wife is a white woman. I dont have a problem with it cause thats your thing and I know plenty brothers that rock with Snow Bunnies, regularly, consistantly and exclusively. Though there are plenty sisters that give you the side eye, cause they dont have their hooks in you (and your bank account), many of them give you the other side eye, cause she aint that hot son. The dude that hooked yall up is a herb, cause she was his "nanny", before he got tired of smashin her, and his "transgressions against his family" were revealed. Even though her family is of some government capacity in her native SWEDEN! (dude who really gets down with the Swiss, besides other Sweeds, maybe some ham or turkey) She is the Webster's Dictionary definition of Euro Trash. Then the women that you creeped with were white women. When are you gonna figure it our? Or maybe I'm slow. Its my understanding that the woman from New York, is some sort of "party promoter" (read:HO) and denied having a physical relation with you, then changed her story and said that she did. So she is probably trying to cash in on your status / situation to get her 15 minutes of limelight. Steeeeerike twooooooooooooo

The PGA has been waiting for you to slip up. You really are the anti golfer, even though you have brought a resurgence and exposure to the game of golf, you aint nothin but the brunt of plenty jokes. What do you call 300 white guys chasing 1 black guy? The PGA tour... (insert canned laughter here). Conan O'Brian, George Lopez, Jay Leno, and even the poster child for cheaters David Letterman all have cracked on you this past week and with your wife and her mother rushing to the hospital followed by Harvey Levin and the TMZ people, the Woods' have given them more ammunition to hit you with more jokes for the next couple weeks til something else pops up. Even D-list syndicated radio morning show host Big Boy from Big Boy's Neighborhood had a parody on you using the Jay Z song Empire State of Mind, called Dork State of Mind, They even used a sampling of one of those voice mails (now how those get released?) Not to mention the thingy during the Jacksonville Jags game where there was a blonde woman chasing a tiger with a golf club...and your popularity amongst Americans is down to 39%...And thats strike three kid, Sit on it Potsie

All your major sponsers (Nike, Gatorade *who pulled your drink*, AT&T, Gillette, and EA Sports) are standing behind you, so far they havent completely backed out on you, cause you make THEM money at one point or another. Even though none of your ads have run on primetime television since November 29th. ESPN analyst and former athlete / coach Herm Edwards said it doesnt even matter if you lose your endorsements, you dont need any extra money, cause youre the GREATEST GOLFER OF ALL TIME. This from a cat that has been fired twice for sure and has never won a major ANYTHING.

Im gonna give you a plausible solution that can either get you off the hook or deeper in the fire, depending on how you pull it off... Being that you are a BILLIONAIRE, write a check dude... Start introducing yourself to African American women, they NEVER turn down large amounts of money... maybe a combination of the two. If you continue to deal with white women, you may want to write a check first and get some kinda paperwork stating that they gotta keep their mouths shut. Additionally instead of "hiding" behind your computer in your khakis, get you a pair of Jordans, some jeans, a white tee shirt and be the nigga they callin you. Staying inside only makes things worse. Get it off your chest, speak on it... call the homie Terrell Owens and get explicit instructions on how to tell it like it is.

What the feezy???

"Just like that I cram to understand you" MC Lyte (back in the days)

I am trying to understand what it is that people want from a small business. Being the owner of a small business, I get approached by all walks of life, inquiring about my services. Recently I have heard "complaints" about my prices, which I feel are so low that I am actually LOSING MONEY in a sense. Im gonna keep it real with my cyber family, just as I do with the cats I meet and talk to on a daily basis. I shoot "instants" at a bar that I frequent...at the insistance of the owner of the establishment (we cool like that...) I charge $10 for a 4X6 print. IMO thats not a bad price, because when I shot at another venue in the city, I was charging $20 for the same size picture and well the results were different (more in my favorite). Tonight a dude came up to me with all kinds of "bling" on, fronting buying bottles, food, and what have you. He asked what the pictures were goin for, and I told him. He jumped fly right quick saying that $10 was far too much. I told him that I would cut him a deal if he took multiples or if his crew wanted copies of the photo. He told me that I was outta my mind and he wasnt gonna take a picture. I was like cool, your loss, cause Im a beast with this thing and can even make YOU look good. He then commences to tell his folks not to do business with me (once again, im cool). While all that nonsense was goin on, I counted up how much money he had spent on food and drinks and realized that dude was fronting really hard and prolly only had $5 left in his pocket. (Sounds like a refund check baller to me).

I spoke with a close personal friend of mine, who is the point person for her soroities line reunion. She told me that they wanted a photographer to shoot pictures of the sorors and their friends and families during their reunion weekend. I was down with it, cause 1.) It was an oppertunity to make a nice piece of change 2.) I can promote my business and lock in on future work 3.) she has been my friend for some years and I would do damn near anything for her (as long as it was legal). I have gone as far as reaching out to an artist to get some custom work done that I can use ONLY for their event. **wink wink** and during the conversation realized that I have to set up good package prices to ensure that I walk away from the weekend with a profit. This conversation happened the other day...

me: Hey K, how you doin?
K: Great, I had you on my list of people to call this weekend
me: whats goin on? is something changed from our last convo?
K: No, we are still good to go, even though Soror R said that $20 was too much to spend on an 8X10 photo...
me: are you serious???? do you know how much its gonna cost me to print 1 of those up for? I'm not making much from it.
K: I know, dont change your price...this hoe (her words) is just cheap as hell, and I think she is tryin to pull a fast one.
me: thats cool...I aint sweating her, she wont be buying any pictures, but when she sees the rest of em, she'll be looking for me in the daytime with a flashlight...

By the way Soror R...is a doctor here in the city and makes enough money to pay for all 20 packages and wont even miss it. Thats sad...

Finally,
I shot a wedding a couple of weeks back, and considering that dude and his wife were on a strict budget (in other words, they spent too much money on bullshit) I cut them a hella good deal, one in where again I was gonna end up making a profit, but not what other photographers in the area were making. Dude had the audacity to want to make installments...i agreed, cause at the time I didnt really have a side hustle at the time. The week before the wedding, he shoulda been completely paid in full (mind you I was out of town 5 weeks and he could have been paid for the services), he comes up with this. "Dude, Ima pay you $100 today and the balance after you get us the pictures and the dvd." I was like "WHAT??? What kinda bullshit you tryin to pull potna?" I told him that I was a professional and that I wasnt thinkin about this nonsense. So instead of refunding the monies I already had collected or cancelling on him, I went ahead and shot his wedding. I have yet to see the balance and he has yet to see his stuff, but calls me twice this week and wants to talk smack about, where his shit's at. I told him that the next time he calls me he better be calling me to say, "Gus, I gotcha money" to which I will say, "I gotcha stuff, where we gonna meet?"

Why do my people always think that a black owned business has to cater to their needs as opposed to a white owned business who they pay upfront, with no hassle, no haggling, no foolishness? I really cram to understand.

It might just be a little late Chris

I'm pretty sure by now, that most of you have seen / heard about Chris Brown's YouTube apology. What do you think? Was he really sincere or is this an attempt to play on the emotions of his / Rihanna's fans? IMO he was doin a lil bit of both.

First, he gave a half assed disclaimer about his lawyers told him it was in his best interest to not grant interviews or to talk about his situation (for those who have been locked up or in jail...he whooped Rihanna's ass). Yet ever since he was in court, and got the probation book thrown at him, he has been everywhere. Michael Jackson's tribute (he didnt perform and erybody was expecting him to- guess Jay Z blocked that one too huh?), the Below Expectation Television (B.E.T.)awards, various pictures with Teyanna Taylor, and even Diddy's All White Affair. Why did he take so long to apologize?

Actually, he didnt have to apologize to me, nor did I care to hear about all the people that have given him advice. His pastor, spiritual advisors, his lawyers, and his moms? Are you serious Breezie? He went on to say that he has told Rihanna on several occassions how sorry he was. Dude didnt the judge slap an order of protection on you, where you cant be within 500 yards or something like that. It should have included all contact with the girl. You are really toxic (No Brittney) and need your ass whooped. What if you woulda gotten jail time? Someone would be beatin the shit outta you with the same wreckless abandon that you beat up poor Rih Rih. You wouldnt have enjoyed that at all. Well, now you call yourself doin damage control, you either are tired of the constant jokes that come up when you are around or gpt a project about to come out and need the support of your fan base. If you woulda just done an R. Kelly and made a tape or pissed on the girl, you'd probably have a bigger and wider audience. See what happened with R, he still sells records, and even got an episode of the Boondocks dedicated to him. If you are lucky, you might get a spot in season 3 (dont hold your breath though). Oh, and whats up with that bullshit chain you got, was that sposed to be funny? And that shirt you had on in the video was that a Gordon Gatrell original from the Theo Huxtable collection? Anyway I hope that you are really sorry, and believe that excuse you recorded yourself. BTW...they could have slowed the teleprompter down a lil so you could have read your apology with a lil more feeling and clarity. Not that you dont read well, but I wasnt feeling the real remorse in your voice...better luck next time lil Ali...

And Stanley does NOT approve of your apology

Posted by the Insomniaq while tryin to read this damn teleprompter

Are you a hater or what Mr. Whitlock???

"Don't hate the playa, hate the game" - Uncredited rapper

Pictured to the left is someone most wont recognize, and needs no introduction, but I will...This is Jason Whitlock, sports columnist for the Kansas City Sun, FoxSports.com columnist, sometime ESPN contributor and for lack of a better term A HATER. You may ask, "why you called him a hater?", he seems nice enough...

This cat is like Lex Luthor to Superman, Sarah Palin to normalcy, and well you get it. Whitlock has been a hater of African American athletes for years now, but in recent times he has really made an ass out of himself. His opinions on Michael Vick, Serena Williams, Ray Lewis, and most recently Steve McNair have my blood boiling past the point of pissedtivity.

I read his column where he suggested that athletes (professional or collegiate) should get married. I thought that was totally absurd, uncalled for, and inappropriate. What if someone said "I feel that fat black folk should only eat saltine crackers and celery." I bet he'd want my ass locked up and away from anything that resembles civilization. "Dude said that because of the "status" of the athlete and the notoriaty they hold, they shouldnt get involved in a serious relationship, cause they will cheat against their "main squeeze". I understand that but he has wrangled up all the athletes and lumped them into one pile. Im pretty sure that most athletes do fall for the occassional side piece / jump off or whatever, but there is a good number of them that are on the up and up. It seems that he is harder on the African American athlete than any other. He says that Steve McNair, was wrong for havin a side piece and pretty much got what he deserved. GOT WHAT HE DESERVED is some BS. The man got MURDERED. The same happened not more than a week later to Arturo Gatti who was murdered last weekend in Brazil, (supposedly by his wife). Where is his wife / girlfriend / side piece / jumpoff...ah haaaaaaaaaaaa, I aint never heard or seen him making referrences to his better half. Maybe he says that marriage doesnt work for the athlete, because he's in "sports" and dont have nothin he can lay up with. Now if you thought that was bad, peep this.

In another column, he wrote that Serena Williams, who had just won another Wimbledon championship would be the greatest female tennis player of all time, if she could get in shape....OMG what is this dude drinkin???? I must quote some of the article so that my faithful readers can really see how much of an ass this guy is..."With a reduction in glut, a little less butt, and a smidgen more guts, Serena Williams would easily be as big as Michael Jackson, dwarf Tiger Woods and take a run at Rosa Parks". Now would someone please tell me, what one of the finest of the female species has to do with Jacko, Tiger and the Mother of the Civil Rights movement...to me one doesnt have anything to do with the other. He states that she doesnt give full effort and will never be as good as Steffi Graf, wow this dude really needs to stop with the hate. Really though dude, did Serena turn you down? Does Common pose a threat to you? He went so far as to call her a horse (indirectly but non the less a horse)...in this quote he said, "She complains about being No. 2 in the world, when she's not bitching on Twitter or her blog about new rules that forbid Wimbledon players from eating in the locker room." "Seriously, how else could she fill out her size 16 shorts without grazing in her stall between matches." WTF!!!! I really couldnt believe I read that.

He has been on the side of those who feel that Michael Vick is the worse man to ever walk the face of the earth, because he bankrolled a dog fighting ring. What would he think of Vick if he had bankrolled a McDonald's instead? He would rather a man with such natural ability and talent to spend the rest of his football life working construction instead of playing the sport that he loves. I wonder what he would have said if it were Peyton Manning or Tom Brady that did something that wasnt popular in the public eye. Whitlock probably condemned the hell out of Manny Ramierez when he got caught up with Major League Baseball behind steroids, but gives other athletes like Mark McGuire his vote of confidence in the next Hall of Fame vote. This guy is such a loser... and has the nerve to have a phone number printed in one of his articles to contact him. So everyone needs to flood his number with complaints. Its 816-234-4869. Give him a call and tell him how much of a jerk he really is.

Posted by the Insomniaq that would without a doubt graze with Serena anyday of the week....just look at her.